[Chapter Seven]
Sometimes I wonder who I actually know. Not just who I think I know. Like, I know my close friends of course, but everyone else, those ‘buddies’ those people who you see daily, that you hang out with, but you don’t really talk to ALL the time. Sometimes I wonder if I actually know any of them, because I know my new problem; “creating” people.
Maybe that sounds perverted, but I could care less. What I mean is, I imagine who they are, like, I have scenarios of situations with them, thinking of what they would do, and then when i finally realize who they really are, i’m disappointed, because I’ve built them up to be perfect, and they’re not. I’m so confused right now, I just want to cry and scream at the same time. And I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s for being stupid, for letting me get too attatched. He doesn’t care, and that’s okay, because that’s just not who he is. I mean, he’s cool, yeah, but he’s just… not who I imagined him to be.
I thought he was different. But he’s probably just shy, hiding who he really is. I thought, maybe since he’s not so perverted, that maybe he is a little more mature. I guess i was wrong. He’s just young. He’s oblivious, and he can’t tell the difference between liking someone and thinking they’re hot. I hate myself. I really do.
