[Chapter Ten]
5-19-07
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So I’m not updating regularly… Bad Shay-la, Bad!
But really, I think he might like me, but i think he believes that i’ll never like him back, because he’s twelve. Which, it is hard to believe that I do like him anyway. But anyway, my reasoning is, the fact that he always seems to look at me when my attention is in his direction, that when i delivered the yearbooks to his room (i fought for those… not really, but i guarded them so i could get them) his eyes were on me the whole time, and that, when Cheddar was all ‘smiley likes shay-la!’ Smiley followed him in the orchestra locker room[ish] and like… did something to him, not sure what, but Cheddar was all screaming rape, which meant smiley was going to hurt him, and what do 6th graders do when someone tells the whole room that they like someone that’s standing right in front of them? Deny it, and then hurt them. Cos Cheddar was really trying to get me to believe it, because he was all ‘Smiley likes Shay-la!’ in which i said, whatever cheddar, because i didn’t want to go ‘ew’ bc i actually like him, and then he’s like ‘he does, he told me!’ at which, he goes into locker room, and then after smiley goes in there, he starts screaming rape… which he always does.
When i delivered the yearbooks, i was shaking. I mean, normally, i can talk to people i like, and be… normal. But for some reason, since i was speaking to the whole class, and trying not to embarass myself in front of him, that my hands and voice started to shake. I had to read this thing, that said not to write in the books before checking them, or else you can’t return them if pages are upside down etc, and my voice was shaking, and my hands were trembling, and ugh, i felt so stupid. But everytime i looked at him, he was watching me. And it’s not like he didn’t have work to do, because i happened to notice that the review he was doing wasn’t finished, so he was watching me for a reason.
I don’t know what I’m going to do this summer… i’ll be deprived of everyone that aren’t close enough on a ‘come over to my place/go to movies’ basis. Like Smiley.
